i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i think i have herpe
just one?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
