i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
