He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
