I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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