dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
