she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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