She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
