Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
