That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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