Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I smell stomach acid.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
