even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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