the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
