I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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