Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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