Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
