You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
