On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
