I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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