you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
