All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
only you would photoshop your dick
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
