Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
