don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
