so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize