You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
