We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
