i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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