I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
