Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Drunk is not a location!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
