Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
