Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i believe in u and ur pee
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
