Your face is a jimmy john
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
