hell yes lets make some ravioli
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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