Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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