I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
