Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
