You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
