North Korea, Best Korea!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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