Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dignity is for republicans.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
