I got her a Nickelback box set.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
