Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize