Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
