We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
