What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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