I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
