Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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