Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
