Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
