Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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