i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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