HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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