Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
