Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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