It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
