your thong is hanging out like whoa
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
