ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i came on her dog
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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