here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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