Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
